Friendship and intimacy

Friendship and intimacy

Friendship and intimacy



 Friendships have different levels of intimacy. Some people become friends because circumstances bring them together. Maybe you’ve worked with someone and had lunch pretty much together, but when you leave a job, the friendship doesn’t last. Or you were quite friendly with a neighbor who left and your communication ended.


You probably know that you will go out together with a close friend whom you have not seen in a long time. Looks like you've never been different. Your connection is based on many shared experiences, values ​​and feelings and it stays strong. Situational friendships do not provide the same kind of bond, but that does not mean that they are not valuable.


Perhaps when you enter a new environment you will meet people you have enjoyed but do not feel deeply connected to. These friendships are like a pleasant advantage, where both parties benefit from communication, but there is also no interest in taking the friendship further. The relationship may vaguely feel uncomfortable or wrong, as there is something “false” about it.


You can enjoy having lunch with coworkers at work, chatting with them about work issues and gossip, and you can even meet a few of them before class for practice. But when you change jobs, most of that friendship connects with coworkers in the new office.


You do not want to be frustrated if you cannot get the right pitch so invest in a good capo. Getting to know each other right now is very helpful for both of you; You can enjoy what you share and move on when it's over. Perhaps your friend has a similarly gentle feeling of friendship about you and the separation is nothing more than a mild grief for both of you. Don’t deprive yourself of this pleasant communication because it doesn’t meet some expectations, and don’t try to force it to be more than that. There is no reason to back away from the temporary, congenital connection.


Circle of friends


Every friendship is different, and you deserve to have the full spectrum of friends in your life. You can portray your friendships as a series of cube circles that differ from one another. People in the outermost circles like you, however, don't know you well: people you've met at work, church, or other parties; Some of the friends of friends and other pleasant acquaintances may never be closer to you than they are now. Some of them get closer to you and move on to the next circle. These are the people you see often and quite like. While these may make sense to you in the circumstances, they may not be around, or they may be members of a group that can spend time with you, but not your special friends. If you especially like a casual friend, it's important for you to try to get close. Let an acquaintance know that you want to make more personal contact by inviting him for coffee after a meeting or at a party at your house.


Perhaps your relationship will move to the third circle: developing friends. You both get to know each other better and learn if you have a lot in common. With some effort, and with some luck, the friendship may eventually shift into the fourth circle: close friends. It usually takes a while for the relationship to develop but once it is done you will both share a long term connection.


Nothing enriches life like friendship. You probably remember the old adage, "Make new friends, but keep the old one one silver and the other gold." As your life develops you will learn how true this is. Despite having lots of friends around, you can be sure that you have found the joy, support and companionship of your whole measure.


Different strokes


We all have different classes of people in our lives. There are family members, friends, colleagues, colleagues and acquaintances. And each of these categories has levels of intimacy. For example, in your family you may feel closer and more comfortable with a sister or cousin than you are with others. Or, some of your friends' circles may be much more reliable and warm than others. Even in business some colleagues can be true friends, while others are more distant. The differences in these relationships determine how much distance or intimacy will work between them. Knowing how to differentiate between levels of friendship will make a big difference.


Circle of intimacy


To create a mental picture of how different types of intimacy exist in your life, you can imagine your relationships with you at the center of them as organized into multiple concentric circles.


Center Circle: Intimacy: The people who you think are most important to you, who are your closest friends and family, fill the smallest center circle. Circles are small because relatively few people meet the requirements to enter the "inner circle".


The Second Circle: Warm Friendship: Just outside the circle, the second circle is for warm friends and family members you like but probably don't know enough to fully trust, or have some traits that make it impossible to get close. This may be true for the person you like but who is too far away or can’t be trusted to keep a promise or respond when you need to.


Third Circles: Friendly Connections: This circle is for people you know and love, but still don't know well enough to consider them as warm friends. These people may enjoy spending time with your friends or family members or other people of your choice, but with whom you have not yet made any special connections. Some of these acquaintances may very well move into your second circle after some time and experience, others may leave.


Fourth Circle: Crisis Friend: These people can be fun to talk to when you are a neighbor, coworker, other father in your child's pre-school, or working with you in the gym, but not too close to your personal life. These people are friendly and convenient to do something together (for example, a colleague with whom you have lunch) but if the situation changes (you change jobs or leave) then the friendship does not last. Once in a while, the situational friend becomes a personal friend and moves to the third circle or closer.


Fifth Circle: Introduction: This final circle is for people you've recently met and haven't had the opportunity to screen for more intimate circles, or friends of friends, or people you know very little about, but consider it friendly. As time goes on you can get to know some of this person better.


Being selected


Each of these circles is called for a separate privacy. If you carefully consider who can enter the underlying circle, for example, there will be people with whom you are most comfortable with timate these people with whom you share your personal thoughts, your privacy, your sexuality and your place of residence (your Depending on personal preferences and how considerate and caring you are, how close you get).


With each continuous circle, the level of your personal self intimacy and sharing decreases. A new work colleague in the outermost circle, for example, will probably know only general information about you and very little about your personal life.

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